The Other David B. Hunsicker

Definition of clutter (Entry 2 of 2)

1a: a crowded or confused mass or collection-a clutter of motels and restaurants

b: things that clutter a place-tried to minimize the unnecessary clutter in her house

2: interfering radar echoes caused by reflection from objects (as on the ground) other than the target

There is no way around it. Life in the contrast between irrelevance and relevance is cluttered. It can be a debris field of our or other’s disasters or it can be eclectic heaps of weirdly enduring and intriguing artifacts that show life has been lived there. At times, the clutter can distort or even confuse the inner “radar” that helps us navigate the contrast.

The call stunned me. I did not even know what ALS meant. How can someone so young be defined by three simple letters? He was hopeful, but with statistics like 1%, I struggled to see the hope. Over the next 2 years, we spoke regularly as the hope diminished-a failed experimental treatment, loss of mobility, the blurring of speech, the loss of dignity, the fear of death, and the desire to end things for his family’s sake. Then finally Hospice. I sat next to him the last week of his life and cried when his wife called me-another hole in my already riddled life.

We live and walk in the clutter of life. It is easy to lose our way in it. Every piece is an obstacle or opportunity to find our way to relevance in an often seemingly irrelevant world.

Many have tried to teach me how to live a relevant life with varying degrees (or lack) of success. But only a few have taught me how to die a relevant death. I appreciate both because they are the waypoints when I get lost in the clutter. Like a bright star that reveals the true North, they point the way in the darkness.

None of us get to choose the clutter that litters our contrast. But we get to choose the weirdly enduring and intriguing artifacts that we keep close by and treasure in our journey to relevance.

lurking

/ˈlərkiNG/

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adjective

adjective: lurking

1. remaining hidden so as to wait in ambush.”the trumpet fish is a lurking predator”
   • (of an unpleasant quality) present in a latent or barely discernible state, although still presenting a threat.”he lives with a lurking fear of exposure as a fraud”

No one who enters the contrast of life exits unwounded. In the world between irrelevance and relevance lurks the monsters that damage us. They rip holes in our lives. Some holes can never be repaired in this life.

“Wait is a verb” was all she said. I was perplexed at her answer. It had been years since we had spoken, since my friend and her husband died. He had stopped at a street light one stormy afternoon. In the span of one moment, between red and green, a tree fell on his truck and he was gone. One phone call and her world was forever changed-a hole that would never be filled. A darkness overstepped its boundary and swallowed up her world.

How does one survive in the darkest corner of contrast? She shared her paralysis, of being immobilized by Death’s uninvited darkness. She spoke of her return to the light with four simple words: “Wait” is a verb. It is an action. It is choosing not to be paralyzed by the darkness. Waiting feels like nothing. But in truth it is a “something,” a movement toward the light, a shift out of the corner back toward the center.

I have other friends who did not wait and never exited the darkness. I choose not to judge because I never encountered the monsters that lurked in their contrast.

We all have Lurkers that hide along our journey to find relevance. Often we can not run or hide when they cast their net of darkness over us. But we can choose to wait.

contrast noun

con·​trast |  \ ˈkän-ˌtrast   \

Definition of contrast (Entry 2 of 2)

1a: juxtaposition of dissimilar elements (such as color, tone, or emotion) in a work of art

b: degree of difference between the lightest and darkest parts of a picture

2a: the difference or degree of difference between things having similar or comparable naturesthe contrast between the two forms of government

b: comparison of similar objects to set off their dissimilar qualitiesBy contrast with newer models, the computer operates slowly.: the state of being so comparedIn contrast to the other estimates, his was very high.

3: a person or thing that exhibits differences when compared with anotherThe gentle girl is a contrast to the arrogant woman.

No person is irrelevant. We all fall somewhere on the relevancy scale…somewhere in the contrast between the two. The contrast is where life happens. To distinguish sound we must experience silence. To feel whole we must know brokenness. To walk in the light we all have to wander in the darkness.

I was settling into my seat (aisle always) as the plane was rapidly filling up. A young black man looked at me and pointed at the window seat. We exchanged pleasantries and when the plane had filled with the exception of the seat between us, I began to bask in the realization that I have the opportunity to sit alone and enjoy the space, the distance. That was when I noticed that someone was being helped down the aisle. There was only one seat left. When the Latina woman stopped beside me, I stood and watched as she was helped into the middle seat.

Once I returned to my seat, I noticed she was trembling and starting to cry. The young man at the window and I exchanged a glance and the story began to unfold. The woman was totally blind. She had never been on an airplane before but had determined that she was going to visit her family in another state. Every sound, every jolt of movement in the cabin sent waves of fear across her face. As we spoke, a thought occurred to me that I had no idea what this woman was experiencing. So, I took her hand and told her that I was going to join her. Puzzled she asked, “What do you mean?” I shared with her that I had closed my eyes and that I was not going to open them until the airplane reached the cruising altitude and the pilot turned off the seat belt sign. I committed to rejoin her in the darkness once we started our descent. The young man at the window took her other hand and told her he was also going to join us.

I have to admit, having left sight behind at the departure gate, in what seemed like an eternity the intensity of my other senses-touch, smell, sound and weirdly, even taste-were terrifying and exhilarating. When we reached our destination, both the young man and I felt compelled to see this woman to the end and walked her off the plane into the loving arms of a very anxious family who were grateful to see her smiling.

Life is lived in the contrast for those who are willing to wander in it. It is a wondrous and dangerous place. In my own experience, I have come to believe it is most probable where the journey to relevance begins.

ir·rel·e·vant

  (ĭ-rĕl′ə-vənt)

adj.

Unrelated to the matter being considered.

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ir·rel′e·vant·ly adv.

Synonyms: irrelevant, extraneous, immaterial, impertinent
These adjectives mean not pertinent to the subject under consideration: ignored irrelevant comments during thediscussion; a question extraneous to the topic of the presentation; an objection that was declared to be immaterial tothe case; deleted the impertinent facts from the report.

Antonym: relevant